Last week we watched Disney’s new movie, Inside Out…illegally, because that’s how we roll. When you have four children, going to the movies is the equivalent to purchasing a Shetland pony, even stuffing your own popcorn bags in your purse doesn’t seem to ease the bloodshed.
So, I’d like to thank the Spanish speaking pirates who took the time to overdub the Spanish version back into English, and I am in no way criticizing your lack of ability to match the voices to the film. Because of you, we were able to watch a movie two months earlier that anticipated. Also, this is in no way an endorsement of illegal activity, and if someone from the Department of Pirated Movies calls, “No hablo inglés.”
This is an endorsement, though, of my own accord, to tell you to go watch the movie even if you don’t have young children. Legally, preferably, so you don’t risk five years in prison or a $250,000 fine. Inside Out is such a cute movie that made me both laugh out loud and cry real tears, and we will be redeeming our illegal activity by purchasing it. This movie isn’t just for kids.
Part of my journey to personal freedom is the unearthing of the beauty and power of my emotions. I have discovered that my emotions are good, every single one of them, and they can be trusted, and any time I hear someone say, “emotions come and go and can’t be trusted,” I cringe and give my emotions a big hug and tell them that I love them and appreciate all their hard work alerting me on what’s going on inside of me. Emotions are one of the greatest gifts my Infinite Creator has given me, and they are what makes me the most like Him.
Emotions can be trusted, you know why? Because emotions are how you alert yourself as to what’s going on inside of you. If you are feeling angry, there’s a trigger that activated that anger. The emotions do not lie. Something happened that caused your inner man pain, which activated your emotions to let you know about the pain. This is equivalent to the physical pain you might feel getting poked by a needle.
I haven’t always been in touch with my feelings and trusted everything I felt. In fact, I spent most of my life believing emotions cannot be trusted, so I spent most of my life stuffing the ones I thought were bad deep inside and feeling guilty when anger or sadness could not be contained and overwhelmed my life, but I’m on the journey to learn how to listen and trust them.
Several weeks ago, Matt and I had a knock down drag out fight (We have those now that I know that we’re both learning to speak up and be honest with each other, and that there’s an intimacy that comes with that). It didn’t start off as a fight. It started off as a simple work event that I wasn’t invited to attend, and it hurt my feelings. I resorted to my old self, and felt guilty for letting it hurt my feelings, so I held it in. As the day wore on, the feelings mounted inside of me, and I started dropping hints about wanting to go.
Matt finally got the hint and said, You can go.
Then I felt guilty for being so childish about going. Until later that evening, as we were getting ready, I began to ramble on and on, “I’m so confused as my role as a wife. I’m not sure what I can and can’t do.”
Matt kept saying, “What are you even talking about? You’re not making any sense.”
FInally, in exasperation, he stormed out of the room.
I could feel the guilt of my childish behavior overwhelm me, as I tried to pull myself in, but then I remembered. I have a right to feel the way I do.
I screamed after Matt, “I FEEL THE WAY I FEEL RIGHT NOW, AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL THIS WAY!”
Except, how did I feel? I had yet to determine the way I felt. I was only skirting around it talking about my role as a wife. It took me a few tearful minutes, before I could name how I felt. I found a tearful Matt in the kitchen.
“Matt, I feel insecure. I feel like you don’t want me to go with you.”
“Charity, I’m so sorry I made you feel like you were unwanted. I never meant for you to feel like that. I want you there, please come with me.”
You see, my emotions weren’t what couldn’t be trusted, it was my misunderstanding of Matt’s intentions that were lying to me, but we would’ve never came to the root of the problem had I mistrusted my emotions, and ignored them.
So, even if you don’t have young children, go see Inside Out. Find out how trustworthy and endearing each and every one of our emotions can be.
Don’t be afraid. Just feel all the feels.